Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Reservation under.... uhh "Smith"?

I'm just going to make one thing clear, the computer system that I look at when you enter the restaurant is A LOT smarter than you are.... and most of the time, so am I.

Reservations are really simple, possibly the simplest part of your dining experience. You call, tell me how many, give me your name, and you're done, you are now guaranteed a table... However, if you forget to make a reservation for your anniversary date with your wife, your lunch with your mom, or whatever, it is NOT mine or my computer's fault. Guess what, it's yours :)

I can't tell you how many times people walk into either restaurant, look around and mutter to each other how busy it is, then nonchalantly walk up to me and claim they have a reservation under some random name like "Smith" or something... Uhm, no sir, you don't.
"But I made one through OpenTable? I don't see why you don't have it?" Then both parties just stare blankly at me to see what I'll say.
"No asshole, you didn't. I'm not stupid. I'll even go out of my way to look up your name in our guest history to prove to you that you are nowhere to be found...you don't exist to us." I wish...instead....
"Hmm, there must have been some sort of mistake, we'll get you the next available table." Because, you know, my job requires me to unfortunately be polite to people....

Then those suckers get the next table. And they walk away to high five that they've got the in and "tricked" me. But you didn't. I just get paid to be fucking nice to you.


  1. "Getting paid to be nice to people," I know it well.

    Circumstances like this one make me like to imagine seeing assholes outside of work... and then hitting them with my car.

    Really funny blog, by the way!

  2. This is the worst..and when they crane their neck to check out the opentable screen? I want to smack them. I hate when it happens, they think they're pulling off some huge scheme when it happens all the time by assholes.