"how about over there?"

It must be a common misunderstanding to hostess' that you do not get the same service at particular tables. The table that I suggest to you is obviously not going to be as good as the one that you point out, when in all actuality, it really is, because I know exactly what you are going to complain about over there, and over there, and also over there.

There is brains behind our operations, trust me, it's not my first rodeo, I'm not just going to throw you at a shitty table on purpose, but trust me, that ones shittier. Oh, and I know just by how you say hi to me when you walk in the door whether or not you're going to complain about the table or not.

"Table for 4 please" and then the slight hand gesture to the specific table you want, or the direction you'd like to go, well guess what, we're going the other fuckin' way.

"Booth, if you have it" well, our half-booth/half-tables are the exact same thing as a fricken booth if you want to get technical, sit both of your asses on one side, but hell no, never good enough. We'll cram into this 2 person booth instead with our 4 person party.

"Something quiet" are you aware that you are in a public restaurant....? Hm, okay. Take your meal to-go and eat in your car.

And the best, "How about over there..." yeah, how about over there, FOR THE NEXT TABLE, because THIS server is next, asshole, so stay here. The food will taste the same, I promise. And there's a vent over there so I know you won't like it, but let's go....

"this may be too cold" exactly, could have told you that myself bitch, now you're going to point at that table over there, but when you sit down you'll realize you can see all of our cooks in the kitchen...pleasent

"Umm, maybe not"...that's where I drop the fucking menu's. This is where I sat you, whether it's where you stay or not, I've done my job, it wasn't good enough for your liking so sit your annoying ass somewhere else, preferably not in this restaurant. Then after I get a different server to pick your table up and bring you the menu's you left at the initial table I sat you at, things will be fine and dandy and your food will arrive and you'll enjoy your evening just like everyone else around you that sat where I took them. So I'm glad you've had a good night, because after making me chase you around for 10 minutes trying to satisfy your asses in a comfy booth or warm corner, I'm officially annoyed for the rest of my shift.